“Go.”

Not surprisingly, its been a very long time since the last time I posted to this blog. While I have maintained a fairly consistent meditation practice, a LOT has changed since my last post. The biggest of those changes is – we are moving to Australia!

Standing at the precipice of this, seemingly monumental, move has brought up huge amounts of fear and doubt about the future. I have, of course, analyzed all the ‘what if’s’ ad nauseam. But, when I am present enough to step back from that fear and need to have a set plan for every little detail, I usually chuckle to myself a bit because I recall the impulsivity it took to get me here in the first place…

Let me set the stage for you: it was July of 2008, I had just graduated from the University of Arizona and I was living in Tucson. I had been dating this guy who, moving forward, I will refer to as Percy, for over a year. Unbeknownst to me, Percy had made plans to abruptly leave me under the pretense that he was heading back East to take care of his ailing family members (in reality, he’d actually purchased a ticket to accompany his mom on her holiday to Ireland). I found this all out, about 2 days before he was set to leave AND at the same time I found out I was pregnant. After some convincing from his mom, Percy decided he was ‘on board’ with having a baby and we got engaged. Romantic, huh? (As a side note, I will mention that Percy is a decent guy, but there is no way in hell we ever should have gotten engaged – even the best days of our drawn-out relationship were turbulent.)

giphy

So, picture me pregnant, engaged to a guy I had no business being with, and living in a town I despised. It was at this point that there were only a few things I knew for sure: 1) I wanted to get the fuck outta Tucson, and 2) I love to ski and snowboard. It made perfectly logical sense to my 21-year-old mind to pick my favorite ski town and move there – no research necessary!

For real – I wrote out the names of my favorite ski towns onto little slips of paper, put them in a baseball cap, and picked one out. The names of the towns included, in order of my most to least favorite: Breckenridge, Jackson Hole, Lake Tahoe, Whistler and Park City.

On the first and only try, I picked out Park City. Despite making the list as one of my ‘favorites,’ I had actually only been to PC one other time, on a family ski trip when I was 8 years old. It really only made it into the hat because 5 choices seemed better than 4.

I remember this moment vividly – standing with that little slip of paper in my hand and feeling disappointed because I had desperately wanted to go to Breckenridge. As somebody who, up until this point, had no problem breaking the rules or cheating, it weighed heavy on my mind to just pick again until I got what I wanted. But, it was in the midst of this harebrained idea that some magic happened and I heard the faintest voice from inside say “go.”  And the very next day, that’s what we did.

Looking back, it was truly a miracle that I could not only hear that tiny voice but that I actually listened to it. Presence and following my intuition weren’t exactly my strengths back in those days. Heck, they’re still a challenge for me these days!

Percy and I rolled into Park City the afternoon of July 3, 2008. We didn’t have a job or housing lined up and we spent the first two weeks living in a tent. Technically speaking, I was a homeless, unemployed, unmarried pregnant 21-year-old. Not exactly the start most people are looking for right out of college!

Nevertheless, here I am! Next week marks the 10th anniversary of that incredulous move. During my time here in Park City, I have been married, divorced, hired and fired (both, multiple times), lost custody, regained custody, fallen in love, remarried, made some amazing friends, let go of some friends, and discovered yoga and mediation. Moving to Utah was one of the single best decisions I have ever made, and I am leaving here happier and more confident then I ever could have imagined. As I edge closer to the beginning of a new and exciting chapter in Australia, I am reminded that the Universe always has a plan, even if I don’t (which is a good thing, cause I’m still not sure where we are living when we get over there! 😬😂).

IMG_3261

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close